Fighting Fate (Endgame #4) Read online

  Swallowing, I watch his Adam’s apple bob and see the longing in his eyes. It’s as strong as my wanting. I shuffle my hands between us and begin working the button of his shorts, feeling the head of his dick brush my fingers. His fingers cover mine, stopping my motion and pinning my arms above my head. “No.” Before I can protest, his mouth covers mine, tongue dancing with mine to the music we’re creating and I’m content to follow his lead. One hand is removed from my wrists and as he trails it down my body, goose bumps follow in its wake. Removing his mouth from mine, he leans back, watching his hand play my body. “Fucking perfect,” he murmurs as he tastes my skin and drags his tongue down the middle of me.

  “Leave them there.” He orders as he releases my wrists so both his hands are free. I obey, mesmerized by the feelings surging through me and the pleasure staining his face. A low growl is all that registers before he grips the side of my new purchase and snaps them from my body. His body leaves the bed, dropping to his knees and pulling my body to the edge. My legs are quivering, there’s a knot low in my abdomen and I can’t believe this is happening— to me— with him.

  The first lap of his tongue up the seam of my core has me jolting off the mattress as his teeth nip the inside of my thigh, gripping them with his arms and spreading me wide, pinning my hips to the bed. “Still.” I watch as his head dips and he stares as he tastes me.

  Inhales me.

  Feasts upon me.

  My eyes are locked on the erotic scene happening in front of me. To me. He brings his thumb to my entrance and swirls, yet refusing to enter me, and runs it up and places it over my clit as his tongue returns to strumming my body. Sweat is beading my body— I’m scared and cautious with the tingles starting at my toes. His eyes snap to mine as a grin transforms his lips. The same lips that are making me crazy. I can’t break his gaze, I don’t dare look away— afraid I’ll miss something. His thumb presses, circles, forcing my back to arch, my toes curl, and white hot heat sears through my body as I shake, moan, thrash— bask in this diatribe of senses.

  He lessens the pressure of his tongue and continues to bring me down. I sigh and fall to the bed, unsure how I should respond. Thank you sounds inconsequential to the earthquake he erupted in my body. He stands, I sit and reach for him, embarrassed at the wetness coating his face. “Can I touch you?” My hands hover over his abdomen.

  “Yes.” He smiles, bending down, getting into my space. Dropping a quick kiss to my lips, I force myself not to retreat . . . he’s still wearing me on his face. “When I’ve earned that privilege. When I’ve proven to you and everyone else, I’m worthy of what you have to offer.” He spins and stalks to the bathroom leaving me with those words.

  Those words that set my world spinning on its axis.

  Chapter Three

  Holy shit. An orgasm ripped from my body by someone else sure as hell beats my fingers. Getting myself off isn’t regular practice . . . but sometimes you gotta take care of business. I should be offended he didn’t let me touch him, but he eased my concerns. He proved to me I’m more than a quick fuck. A fun time. He wants to become worthy of me— little does he know, I already worship him. This cemented I’ll take my spot on the ride he’s the conductor for . . . full steam ahead.

  The door opens, light turns off, basking the room in the sound of the television and spotty flashes of brightness it emits. He settles next to me and I realize I’m still naked. Shit! I reach for my clothes and he halts me with a hand to my bare stomach. Stretching on his back, he bends backward with his arms extended and all I can do is stare, mesmerized by the bow and flex of his abdominal muscles. I drink my fill at the sight and have no shame in doing so. He sits up and hands me his shirt with a longing in his eyes. A quiet request . . . want . . . whatever it is I take it. Taking the shirt that smells of him, I bring it over my head and brush it down my body. I notice he’s still hard and my hand covers him. “I can do something.” I want to please him. I want him to feel as close to me as I do to him.

  “So can I. That isn’t what this is.” His golden eyes lock to mine and I relent. “Will you stay here tonight?”

  “Yeah. But I need to sneak back to my room early.” I hate the way those words coat my tongue. Sneaking refers to a dirty innuendo, like I’m ashamed of what transpired in this room.

  “No, you don’t need to. You want to. I’ll work with that.” He nods and sets his alarm. Pulling me over to cover him, he flips the sheets down on my side, placing me down and rolling over to cover me as he repeats the motion. It’s as if he doesn’t want to release me . . . and I sink further into the spell he’s concocted for me. “Sleep.” He drops a kiss to my head as he holds me close. I snuggle into his side, one hand resting against the hot skin of his chest, one leg tangled with his and drop into a contented, deep sleep listening to his heartbeat, feeling his body cocoon me, reveling in the actions tonight produced.

  The beeping of his phone wakes me, so I hurry to silence it and study him while he’s still sleeping. His brown locks need a trim and one patch falls over his eyebrow. His lips full, jaw strong, and fucking lashes for days. I rush to scramble from the bed and his hand flexes with the loss of my body contact. I smile and grab my shorts. Commando it is, because the scrap of lace is in shreds at my feet. Fuck it . . . it’s a few floors, ass crack of dawn, I’m not worried about a crowd. Plus, I like leaving him a reminder.

  I enter my room and head for the shower, letting the hot water work its magic. I’ve just rinsed the conditioner from my hair when the loud crash of the door into the wall fills the air along with Lee Lee’s scream. “Aves!”

  “Give me a damn heart attack!” Damn bull in a china shop. She enters the bathroom, not giving two fucks what the word privacy means.

  “Hurry. We gotta pack. Our flight is in three hours.” She’s still drunk— go home.

  “Our flight is at eight tonight, Einstein. It’s not even six in the morning.” I remind her.

  “You haven’t checked your phone?” Guilt rushes through me. She’s frantic, but isn’t upset— leaving early means something happened. “Adriane had the baby a few hours ago. Julie.” I watch her smile. “Our parents changed our flights. Deacon is having a hard time.” With the she-devil birthing his offspring, I’d be having a hard time as well.

  I grab onto the railing attached to the shower wall to stop myself from tumbling out. Slippery, wet, and in a hurry isn’t a combination I’ll try again. “Jump in the shower, I’ll hurry and get dressed and throw our shit in suitcases.” Lee Lee reeks of smoke from clubs, sex from her adventurous night, and she’s walking like she’s been riding a horse for a week— with no break. I giggle in silence and figure she was dumb enough to throw the gauntlet down with Mace . . . good decision-making isn’t her specialty.

  I stare at the sketchpad I’d abandoned when he came for me last night, and blush in embarrassment. I hope like hell he didn’t see it . . . it’s him. His features might not be apparent to the common eye but anyone who knows him will see it . . . and my thoughts as I drew them.

  Lust.

  Want.

  Adoration.

  It’s staring at me from the paper, slapping me in the face. The truth of my feelings. Now, I have to go home and pretend this didn’t happen because the last thing the group needs is more drama. Deacon has a baby for fucks sake . . . and I know Adriane will bring baby mama drama. Where Lee Lee falls in that equation I don’t know, but Caden, Mace, and I will be there to pick up the pieces and help where we can. We’re leaving for college in three months— so it’s better to leave my debauchery in Colorado. It isn’t Vegas, but it sure as shit has to stay here.

  I set about making sure he gets the message. My fingers hover over the keys of my phone— my heart cussing my head. Sensibility wins as I take the chicken shit route— and text.

  ME: Last night didn’t happen. Life back home is going to get crazy.

  I send it and stare . . . hoping it isn’t deliverable. No such luck. The read receipt pops up, the dots a
ppear as he types a response— then disappear. He isn’t going to answer me. As the water cuts off, I scramble to do the chore I was supposed to be doing while Lee Lee cleaned up. My sketch goes to the bottom of my suitcase and I hurry to cover it up so it remains a secret. I grab clothes, piling them over my reminder. Hiding my heartache under a mountain of clothes.

  “How was your night?” Lee Lee’s dressing in travel clothes and wincing as she lifts her legs into sweats.

  “Fine. Sketched and fell asleep.” I keep throwing clothes in my suitcase. “How was yours? You need some ice for your snatch?”

  “Nice, Aves. I wanna know when you became a liar?” I freeze mid-throw. Gripping my shirt, I turn to her.

  “What?” I try to be nonchalant and act like I’m not flabbergasted she called me on my lie.

  She holds the bag that held my new lingerie . . . the one I forgot and left in the bathroom for evidence. The tags littering the bottom of the empty bag. “You aren’t walking funny so I guess you still have your hymen?”

  “So crass,” I roll my eyes. “And we’ll discuss it later when we don’t have a new baby waiting for us back home.” I divert and have to sit down. “Holy shit. We’re aunts. Deacon’s a dad. We’re eighteen.”

  “Adriane’s a mom.” I snicker at her thought. It’s always fucking Adriane with her. “Stop, Avery. She is a mom.”

  “We’ll see.” I don’t want to argue with her but she can’t see what’s in front of her face where that girl is concerned.

  “I don’t know what your problem is with her. We all grew up together.” She’s getting irritated . . . but she’ll get over it.

  “Because I can see what’s in front of my face. I’m not blinded by her. She’s rotten. Always has been.” I wish Lee Lee would quit striving for her attention. The further Adriane goes off the rails, ignoring her— the more determined Lee Lee becomes to reel her in. This may be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

  “Whatever. We need to hurry.” She storms to the bathroom to throw our shit in a bag as I continue packing for the both of us. The pounding on the door startles me and I know Lee Lee will beat me to it so I finish up and make sure we didn’t leave anything.

  “Ready?” Mason asks. “Caden went to get us a cab. And hopefully laid because that fucker is in a mood.” He grabs our suitcases and slaps Lee Lee’s ass as we follow him down to the lobby. This trip keeps getting better and better.

  The cab ride is awkward. Mason and Lee Lee are being crude . . . basically themselves. Caden is fretting in his own anger and I don’t know what to say. “You okay?”

  “Fucking great.” He snaps. Wow, he’s pleasant this morning.

  “I know it’s a big change, but Dea . . .”

  “Don’t.” His tone is low, startling me. “I’m good with change.” I ignore his barb and stare at the sights passing by as we drive to the airport. If he wants to be a dick that’s fine, but I refuse to give him an audience he can perform to.

  The flight is uneventful. Once we grab our luggage, we make our way to Mason’s truck so we can go to the hospital. We hurry to get the room information as we sign in and get our security bracelet so we can rush to the nursery. I falter as I notice Deacon standing at a glass window, his forehead leaning against it with the most serene look decorating his face.

  “Hey Daddy.” Mason claps his back as Caden gives him a man-hug. Deacon grabs Lee Lee and me, pulling us close— making us a circle of unity.

  “You okay?” I study him and see the strain marring his face.

  “Yeah. Come see her.” He tugs us to the window. “Julie Cassidy Douglas. My Princess.” I don’t miss her middle name— a blending of our names. Caden, Mason, Avery and Emberlee . . . his core four.

  Damn, she’s beautiful. “Shit. We’re in so much trouble when she gets older.” Caden is spellbound, his gaze fixed on her. I reach over and grip his hand, squeezing it. He returns the gesture and I let go as I begin to choke up.

  “How’s Adriane?” Lee Lee questions him. The flash of anger he experiences is quick before he exhales.

  “Fine, I guess. She wanted rest.” The tense tone of his voice is crystal clear as he continues. “She hasn’t seen her. Didn’t hold her. Hasn’t asked how her own daughter is doing.” Fuck, typical but I was hoping it wouldn’t begin immediately.

  “I’ll talk to her.” Lee Lee volunteers. Right— because words will make that she-devil see light.

  “Just enjoy your daughter.” I remind him of what’s important. Julie needs to be his priority. She needs to be all of ours main focus.

  After an hour, I’m ready to go home. So much has happened this year.

  Emberlee and Mason losing their mind, and I’m still worried they could throw the dynamics of our friendship off.

  Adriane and Deacon getting pregnant. And as of today . . . they're parents.

  Mason and Caden deciding to give up their eligibility for the majors . . . via the minors . . . to be with us at college and help Deacon.

  And I came close to making a colossal mistake letting last night happen. My libido and the way he makes me feel can’t take precedence. Holding us together needs to be the most important thing littering my mind.

  “I’m gonna head home.” I tell everyone— and no one. Picking my phone up I call for an Uber.

  “Me, too.” Lee Lee lays her head on my shoulder.

  “We’re gonna hang here for a bit. I’ll drop your stuff off in the morning.” Mason stands to walk and wait with us. Hugging Deacon I hold him extra tight. I go to Caden next and rest my head over his heart.

  His lips brush my head. “Love y’all.” I call as I leave.

  And I’m thrust straight into hell.

  Feelings.

  Falling in love isn’t rational.

  Feelings aren’t facts.

  I deal in facts.

  Pros and cons.

  This boy . . . he’s both. Good for me in so many ways . . . and bad for all the turmoil our relationship can bring.

  But wrong never felt so right.

  And right never scared me more.

  Chapter Four

  It started innocent enough. A white rose tucked under my windshield wipers. The note did me in.

  There’s room in your life for us. Let me be worthy, Picasso.

  A text the next week when I didn’t give him a response.

  Here. Waiting. Where I want to be. Don’t doubt me. Us.

  I was wavering but I held steady. Until the box arrived. Filled with jackets and blankets for the homeless. And his words.

  I want to be your shelter in the cold. The warmth. And everything that falls between.

  Damn it. He was gonna make me cave. But it had to be my terms. My way of meshing us.

  Me: Meet me in the dugout – seven tonight.

  The day drug by. It was Saturday so I went to Deacon’s to check on him. It’s been a few weeks since Julie was born, and only three days since I’d been here. She’s changing so much— each day. Adriane was discharged a few hours prior to Julie . . . and the baby came home with Deacon and his parents. She comes to visit every few days when she’s forced, but refuses to be involved— or concerned with the well-being of her daughter. I heard her and Lee Lee arguing— seems Adriane is hauling ass after graduation . . . sans her daughter. Good riddance. We can all pitch in and help with Julie.

  Deacon will go to college, his parents already offering support and help. We’re supposed to go look at houses next month and I hope they’ll be close to one another. “Hey, Aves.” Deacon smiles as he drops kisses on Julie’s belly.

  “Gimme.” I make grabby hands and he chuckles. “Hey there, beautiful.” I coo as I settle her in my arms. “Any word?” He knows whom I’m referring to.

  “She came by yesterday while Julie was napping. As soon as my Princess started waking up, she hauled ass.” He sighs. “She’s gonna leave her isn’t she?” I hate the look of defeat stretching his face.

  “Yeah.” I whisper.

  “I’m
not pissed for me. I could give two shits.” And he couldn’t. They weren’t in love— lust and hormones are a bitch. It was a convenience thing. Deacon to wet his dick and Adriane to please her parents and get rewarded. “But her . . .” his voice trails and I fight tears. “She’s gonna grow up without a mom.”

  I can’t fix it. “But I’ll be the best damn Aunt in the world.” He chuckles and pulls me close.

  “No doubt. I don’t know what I’d do without y’all.” And my heart sinks. This is what is important.

  Not my clandestine meeting tonight.

  Not my feelings.

  Not my wants.

  Julie is a baby, and Deacon is fixing to tackle single parenthood while we all try to adjust and juggle college.

  “You won’t ever find out.” My resolve is back. I won’t be selfish. I won’t do anything that can alter this friendship . . . so tonight I’ll make it clear. I don’t have time for whatever we were starting.

  Hemming and hawing— do I show for the meeting or stand him up? Spending the day with Deacon confirmed what I knew . . . he needs us one hundred percent. Introducing this relationship will detract from what the focus needs to be and I won’t be another female that lets Julie down . . . her mother is doing a good job and Adriane’s not one I ever want to emulate.

  I won’t be the girl who cowers and deflects. I’ll explain the reasoning and we can move forward from there. It isn’t like we won’t see each other, and we need to clear the air. I allow myself a few moments to remember what it felt like to be cherished . . . worshiped by him. Alas— it isn’t in my future.

  “Hey Picasso,” his breath tickles my neck as I stare at the abandoned field. It’s eerie and comforting at night . . . the white chalk lines glint under the street lamps, an indent in the clay where the bases sit during the game, the smell of grass tickles my nose, and his scent overwhelms me . . . it’s all home. Has been since I could remember. Our guys played ball— we cheered loud in the stands.